She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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