hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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