Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
