Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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