Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
