I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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