Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
