3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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