I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
