just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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