maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
