if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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