What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
