You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
