I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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