yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
