you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
