like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
