You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
