He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
God gave him joint rollers for hands
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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