Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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