He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
