I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
