it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just invented taco cereal.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
