i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
