Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
