I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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