My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
