i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
