i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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