Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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