Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it was like eating out sand paper
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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