Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
