i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
