Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
