when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize