TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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