none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
