U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
