Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
