I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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