Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
