I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
