Nicole vs. Life
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
