Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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