so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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