I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
