My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
