I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
