it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
