Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
