READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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