You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
